The Man Who Would NOT be Pope

by Master Richard the Poor of Ely

It must have been hell that summer in 1294.  For months, the College of
Cardinals had been deadlocked over who would succeed Pope Nicholas IV.
Two powerful Italian families had built up factions that precisely
balanced each other, and the cardinals were required to stay in Rome
(if not in the Church's buildings themselves) until a new pope was
chosen.  What's more, Europe was getting fed up with their
indecisiveness and wasn't hesitating to let them know it.

One of the loudest critics was an eighty year old hermit named Peter
Morrone who lived in the Abruzzi hills where he kept busy by binding
books.  He had managed to attract a number of followers to his
variation on the Franciscan Order.  One day another letter of his
reached the cardinals, where it was received by Benedict Caetani, who
was familiar with Morrone.

Cardinal Caetani read the letter to the cardinals, who idly began
discussing that goofy old hermit.  Somebody, maybe as a joke, nominated
Morrone for Pope.  The nomination was seconded, a vote was held, and
soon Peter Morrone was visited by a delegation from Rome who informed
him that he had been chosen to fill the highest office in all
Christendom.

His reaction is not known.  He took the name Celestine V and moved into
a small wooden cell in the Papal palace.  From there, he proceeded to
give away the offices and wealth of the Church to whomever asked him
first.

The cardinals went into a panic over this.  They begged Caetani to DO
SOMETHING!!!  The story that he built a speaking tube into Celestine's
cell and played the "Voice of the Holy Spirit" probably isn't true, but
it is perfectly in character.  Anyway, Pope Celestine soon began to
doubt his worthiness for the office.  He confided in his best friend,
Cardinal Caetani, and asked for help.  Caetani, a specialist in canon
law, suggested abdication.  There were precedents for it, and he'd take
care of all the details.

On December 19, Celestine called a meeting of the College of
Cardinals.  He announced his intent to abdicate, then took off his
regalia, put them on his chair and walked out.  He came back a few
minutes later, dressed as the smelly old hermit Peter Morrone.

Everything went according to Caetani's plan.  He was soon elected Pope;
he took the name Boniface VIII.  As long as Morrone was alive, though,
he was a serious threat to his plans (abdication being a tricky legal
question).  So he quickly had Morrone arrested and imprisoned.  Morrone
probably didn't mind, for all intents and purposes he was back in his
hideout in the hills.

Peter Morrone died two years later of a combination of neglect, abuse,
and old age.  Pope Boniface VIII used the resources and power of the
papacy to pursue his private little wars.  Morrone was canonized (St.
Celestine V) in 1313.  Boniface VIII is widely recognized as one of the
worst popes of all time.


From the October 1996 Seahorse